Tuesday, October 05, 2010

No Easy Way Out by Francisco Roque



NO EASY WAY OUT
By Francisco Roque

By now you’ve heard the stories: On September 9th, Billy Lucas, a 15 year-old Indiana boy, hung himself in his family's barn. On September 19th, 13-year-old Seth Walsh hung himself from a tree in his family's backyard in a California town, dying 8 days later. On September 22nd, an 18-year-old Rutgers University freshman, Tyler Clementi, took his life by jumping off the George Washington Bridge. On September 23, Asher Brown, 13, shot himself in Houston, Texas. Less than a week after that - on September 29th, 19-year-old Raymond Chase hung himself in his dorm room at Rhode Island University. Each young man took his life as a result of experiencing significant bullying and/or harassment by his peers because he was or was assumed to be gay.

In the wake of these suicides, new and old media alike have attacked the bullies, their parents, as well as teachers and school administrators accused of showing little support when informed about the problems these young men were experiencing.  Many have even criticized the anti-gay right-wing politicial/conservative Christian message that some believe encourages and endorses the mistreatment of gay men.

Isn’t it clear that simply pointing our fingers at churches, disinterested teachers, Republicans, and even the individual tormenters themselves is an easy way out?

Certainly, the death of five youth by suicide in less than a month is clear evidence of a crisis. It’s hard to argue against the idea that these young men took their lives due to an obvious and pervasive hostility our country has against gay men. From the pulpits and the halls of Congress, to the hallways of their local schools, these young men—just like the rest of us—have been inundated with a culture war waged upon the bodies of LGBT people, making queer and questioning youth keenly aware just how intolerant our great nation can be.

So, yes, perhaps it is easiest to point fingers since these deaths show us, in a very tragic way, that these young men were let down.

But perhaps conservatives, ignorant bullies and school staff aren't the only one's who've dropped the ball here. Perhaps we—the gay community—have been so busy defending ourselves against the conservative movement around marriage equality, Don't Ask Don't Tell, and a host of other attacks that we have allowed ourselves to become distracted. We have focused so much energy telling the world who we are NOT, that we’ve neglected to demonstrate to our young people who we ARE.

We have yet to communicate to LGBT youth—in any meaningful way—what's possible for them on the other side of what they are facing. To a large degree, we have left gay young men and women to fend for themselves in a society quite clear on its intention to hate them.

In this moment, where we must demand justice, equality, and respect from our government, public institutions, and the media, we must also be clear that true “change we can believe in” can only come from within the gay community.

Two home grown, community driven projects have emerged that focus on reaching young people in an empowered way. Village Voice columnist, Dan Savage, has launched the IT GETS BETTER PROJECT on YouTube. As a result, thousands of gay adults have posted video messages to youth detailing their own experiences with overcoming bullying and harassment as teenagers to create better lives for themselves.





In addition, Gay Men's Health Crisis (GMHC) in New York City is re-launching the I LOVE MY BOO campaign Monday, October 4. The campaign places ads throughout NYC subway trains and stations presenting affirming images of young gay men loving and caring for each other. These visible expressions of love are essential in our efforts to address homophobia and the ongoing, devastating and disproportionate impact of HIV within the gay community.

Efforts like these highlight the strength, beauty, and resiliency of young gay men and position them as the solution instead of the problem. They also have the capacity to show gay youth that they are not alone in their struggles around identity and sexual orientation and that there are other people like them who have been through what they are experiencing and survived.

If there is any lesson to be learned from the unnecessary and tragic loss of five young men in this September it is that we can no longer take an easy way out. We must to a better job of letting our kids know that a large, diverse, talented, creative, and strong community is here to support them.

Francisco Roque is a prominent gay rights and HIV/AIDS activist working at the national level.  He is known for his leadership in the development of several citywide social marketing campaigns and community mobilizing efforts.

Roque currently serves as Director of Community Health at Gay Men’s Health Crisis (GMHC). He is responsible for managing a multimillion dollar portfolio which includes community-based research, dynamic publications, high visibility social-marketing campaigns, large and small-scale community events and programming, online interactive interventions and community mobilization efforts.  He is responsible for the concept, development and implementation of several notable prevention campaigns all of which have been disseminated both locally and internationally.  Recent examples include: My Son Is My Life, Hurricane Tina and I Love My Boo.

Roque is also participates in strategy sessions at the White House in the development and implementation of the US National HIV/AIDS Strategy, convened by the Office of National AIDS Policy.



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